Overcoming Childhood Trauma Often Starts with Escaping the Fight or Flight Response George and Betty’s doors were buttoned up tightly the day I stood on the side of my house metamorphosing into a twelve-year-old hustler. But smoke billowed from my neighbors’ chimney, so I knew they were home. They were my best option for getting…

The Key to Being More Lovable Is Loving Yourself First Love is everything! It’s the common denominator of our existence—the energy that fuels us and the world around us. How do we attract more love? By being more lovable! Being lovable allows us to attract the type of love we desire. Whether it’s a romantic…

Do you give too much and have trouble setting boundaries in relationships? Are you the friend who says yes to late night drinks even though you haven’t slept in a week and your Christmas decorations are still up in April? Do you make your husband a Bulletproof coffee with organic MCT oil and half a…

Embrace the Quick-Fix Power of Positive Affirmations We’re always looking for a quick fix, an easy way to make our lives more convenient. And in our technology based society, there’s an app to help us do just about everything. Apps that get you from here to there. Apps that convert currencies. There’s even an app…

His eyes were as dark as night. That should’ve been my sign to run the other direction–the windows to his soul shut tight, forbidding the light to shine in or out–but instead, I ran straight toward this long-time bachelor with my arms (and legs) wide open and my eyes wide shut.  This wasn’t my first…

You may not know this about me, but I used to be a lawyer. Well, I still am a lawyer, but I don’t practice anymore. But there was a time when all I wanted to do was defend criminals. Not because I had a warm and fuzzy for lawlessness. Actually, it was the opposite: I…

For those of you who have been reading along over the past few months, you know that when I was twelve my dad went to prison. You also know that my Christian school wasn’t too fond of my dad being a criminal. They didn’t believe that the daughter of a felon should be the valedictorian,…

Lately my husband David and I have just been co-existing. We’re walking around the house like co-workers. Like roommates. Like people who have too much to do. We both woke up at 4:30 a.m. recently and couldn’t fall back to sleep. Truth be told, it was more me nudging him and prodding, “Are you awake?…

“What are you looking to release?” the spiritual guide asked. “I’ve had an overwhelming fear of abandonment for as long as I can remember.” She scribbled on her notepaper. “And?” I wanted to say: And, my dog’s dying, and it’s almost the twentieth anniversary of my mom dying, who by the way, I never grieved…

After months of surveilling our house, the F.B.I. got a warrant for Dad’s arrest. Perhaps Dad knew, which is why he left town a day before they showed up looking for him. When the feds realized Dad had skipped town, they splashed his photo across the local news, along with heavy words like “wanted” and…

It’s that time of the year again when we’re force fed the idea that we need to be better. Different. Thinner. Stronger. Smarter. We need to work harder. Sleep better. Drink Less. Drink more. Give up bread. Have more sex. Do more yoga. Quit snoring. Turn our phones off. Read more. Do less. Do more….

Oh, the holidays. There’s so much hoopla about good tidings and cheer. We rush around buying gifts––even for people we don’t like because it’s the “right thing to do.” Then there’s all the mushy Hallmark movies and Christmas cards plastered with smiling faces recounting a year’s worth of “look what I did.” For a lot…

You may not know this about me, but I used to be a lawyer. Well, I’m still a lawyer, but I don’t practice anymore. But there was a time when all I wanted to do was defend criminals. Not because I had a warm and fuzzy feeling towards lawlessness. Actually, it was the opposite: I…

Were you raised in a “shame on you” household? I sure was. Maybe it was the era. Maybe it was my parents pushing me to be more. Or maybe it’s how they were raised. But I’ll tell you what—“shame on you” was a punishment that often hurt more than a bare butt spanking.  But let’s…

What do you want more than anything right now? Go ahead. Name it, I’ll wait.  Great. Now when you identify this thing or situation you want, is the energy surrounding it dripping with desperation? Does it feel anxious and clingy? Are you white-knuckling your dream? If so, let’s back up.  There’s a magic to manifesting…

I hate skiing! I tried it years ago and I fell––a lot. I mean a lot. Heck, I even fell off the chairlift. And that wasn’t the really humiliating part, the real embarrassment occurred when a six-year-old gracefully glided off the lift four chairs later while I was still in a duck and cover position…

When’s the last time you grieved? If it’s been a while, you’re probably overdue. Grief is an essential emotion for long-term happiness. During a time of loss, it offers us the shelter to stay put and the freedom to move on. But it doesn’t always feel that way, does it? I know from experience that…

Have you been working out lately? Naturally, in the year of Covid, my usual exercise haunts are quieter than ever. Treadmills are empty. Pilates reformers are going unused. And, I continue to have a lot more personal space around my yoga mat—as I’ve been doing my downdogs at home.  It’s important, especially this year, to…

In the days of Covid it’s easy to lose your holiday spirit. Even though a vaccine is on the horizon, they say it’s going to be a long, lonely winter before we feel its positive impact. So we’re told not to gather. Not to visit. Not to toast one another. Even the age-old tradition of…

In the days of Covid, I haven’t been sick once. Not a cold, sinus infection, or the flu. It could be because I’m not traveling. Or, because I’m constantly washing my hands and wearing a mask. Or maybe because I’m not hugging people.  But I really think it’s because I supercharge my immune system. It’s…

We all do it from time to time.  Whether we’ve felt slighted in a relationship or insulted by an in-law at Thanksgiving, we all hold grudges.  A lot of why we hold grudges and refuse to forgive is subconscious. We walk around like a victim portraying a false sense of valor for the pain that…

The days before a big holiday can feel overwhelming. We’re rushing around shopping, fighting traffic, and cooking—all while trying to be socially safe. Add to that, the cleaning and prepping and the family drama that usually ensues.  To keep things at a happier, more peaceful vibe this Thanksgiving, here are a few dos and don’ts….

Do all your relationships have a common theme? Maybe you give too much? Maybe you’re insecure? Maybe you don’t really trust and give yourself completely? Do you feel like in all your romantic relationships you’re dating the same person over and over again? No matter who you’re with, you’re having the same arguments and are…

Loving ourselves throughout our lifetime is a wonderful but challenging endeavor. And the big question is––how do we continue to love ourselves through everything, especially the big emotions of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety? It’s so difficult, isn’t it?  I’ve experienced this many times in my life, especially lately when the world is serving up so…

Sometimes loving ourselves is difficult. While we show compassion and understanding to others, we rarely show it to ourselves. We pay compliments to others but hardly to ourselves. We long to be with others and show our love, but don’t show love for ourselves.  Why?  A lot of it comes from how we were raised….