Mother’s Day–a day of flowers and gifts; memories and affection. But what if you’re feeling motherless of Mother’s Day? Perhaps you’re like me and your mom died when you were young. Or, maybe you don’t have a deep relationship with your mother, or for that matter, you have no relationship at all. What then?
As a culture, we spend a lot of time hyping up holidays that pertain to the majority of people, and in doing so, we tend to forget about the people who don’t share our sentiments.
If you are one of these people who feels motherless on Mother’s Day, let me share a few thoughts with you.
Losing your mother when you are young is devastating. And by young, I mean at any age, because, the truth is, you are never old enough to lose your mother. There will always be life events that you want to share with her. For some, they might be graduating from school, getting married, or running a marathon. For others they might be having a baby or buying a house.
If you feel motherless on Mother’s Day because you don’t have a close relationship with your mother, there’s some relief for that as well.
First, it’s important to understand that no one, and I mean no one, has a perfect relationship with their mother. It’s impossible. The bonds are so close that you sometimes can’t help but overstep that fine line of hold me tight but let me be free.
Decades after my mother died, I had a revelation that only comes with age. My mother did the best she could with the tools she had. She didn’t have a loving childhood and hadn’t been mothered herself.
So unless your mother is Meryl Streep in August: Osage County or Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest, I’d bet that your mom used every tool in her emotional tool box to love you the best way she could.
Mother’s Day is an opportunity to thank the countless women who mothered us. The teachers, mentors, friends, and acquaintances who taught us valuable lessons. I surely wouldn’t be who I am without the generosity of time and spirit of the many women who mothered me along the way.
In truth, none of us is truly motherless. We came from a womb and through the Universal wisdom that is LOVE. We are all blessed to have people who care for us and mother us when we need it.
So let’s enjoy Mother’s Day from a place of abundance (consider all the people who helped you and all the people you can help) instead of scarcity (feeling motherless). Because the truth is, your mother would want you to be happy.
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